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The Problem With Fanboys… March 9, 2009

Posted by Matthew in Feature, Peoww, Rant.
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…is that they are fucking idiots, to put it bluntly. My Killzone 2 review went up on Peoww yesterday and was posted on N4G and resulted in the comments section becoming full of upset fanboys who simply couldn’t comprehend the fact that I scored it a 7/10 – which anyone with half a brain knows is a good score. I was always aware at how defensive, dismissive and touchy fanboys can be Sony fanboys losing to Manchester United in the 2008 Champion's League final on May 21stwhen something they hold dear is criticised in any shape or form but here, as Rich from Peoww put it: “You’d have thought we’d shat on their mums”. I scored the game a seven because that what I felt it deserved and it was a reflection of the enjoyment I got out of the game. It was above average, but not a great game. It would half received an eight hat the single player campaign not basically been such a copy-and-paste from so many other games. Click below to swim through the bitter tears aka fanboy comments

Now enough of that, it’s LOL @ fanboy comments time. A selection of the best, if you will. First up is “Db”, which probably stands for Dick burn or something similar (couldseethatcomingfromamileaway/10):

this review sucks a$$!!! You clearly are a dumb arse rtard for reviewing a game that you probably have not even played. well from your review it at least sounds like it.

First of all, predictable use of the dollar sign instead of the “s” in ass. Secondly, the massive “rtard” irony. Finally, like I suspect most of the commenters did, I’m unsure as to whether he actually read the review and just scrolled straight down to the score before proceeding to have kittens. He must have missed me mentioning the (atrocious) finale. Next up is “orbilator”:

we all enjoyed the single player experience as well as the the multiplayer, and never experienced any treacle.

Can’t be arsed quoting his full post, but this makes me laugh when taken completely out of context.  Of course it wouldn’t be angryfanboytime without “Seventh_Blood” chiming in with:

I would like to know how much M$ paid for this kind of review … How can i join this business?

Rather than going into detail about how utterly ridiculous this would be, instead here is a picture of what I got up to at the weekend after the review was given the once-over by some suits from Microsoft:

Incidentally, that’s the second time I’ve used said joke today. The picture is so good that one use doesn’t do it justice. Now back to the shower of shite with a comment from “Sam”, who will now be known as I Am Sam:

This guy couldnt even beat the first level. that was the most cr@p talking ive ever heard with NO details to back it up. sounds like he watched the highlights section of xbox.com complaints for Kz2 and wrote them all into one cr@ppy review. if theres nothing innovative about the single player what makes this dude love the MP so much? with every new fps released it gets reviewed for what it is. when Kz2 got reviewed it needs to reinvent the genre. the single player is better than any other fps ive ever played and the online is just as exceptional. im happy to accept a review with any score as long as they give valid reasons to back it up, but when its just a bunch of bs mushed up into concurrent sentences no true gamer would take this guy seriously.

Much like Db aka Dick burner, he tries to be clever my replacing the “a” in crap with the “@” symbol, thus creating “cratpy” – a word so shit it only produces one result in Google image search which appears to be faries or some shit. Plus the obvious daft notion of Killzone 2 footage on xbox.com. While I’m on the subject of xbox.com, I adblocked that fucking shit flash video thing on the homepage of those fake lifestyle cunts pretending to have fun. After I chime in with the comment “this is delicious”, I Am Sam rages:

@Matthew, no its not delicious, its stupid and yes im talking about your review,

Bless. I’ve clearly touched a nerve or something. Lmfao writes:

People are sick and tired of people like you attacking this game and not giving it the respect it deserves. Heaven forbid this was on the 360. 9’s and 10’s would be raining down, no?

No indeed. Nines and tens are raining down on it already and undeservedly so, in my opinion. But anyway fuck all that, it’s comments like these from Sibboz that matter in the end:

I think the review is good, and when I get some spare cash I’ll pick it up because of this review.

One final thing, the accusations of us at Peoww being Microsoft fanboys can be quickly thrown out the window. Out of the eight main reviewers only three of us own a PS3, so all multi-platform titles are reviewed on the 360. One of the commenters mentioned the lack of PS3 reviews on the site and the reason for that is easy – the site has recently been redesigned and transferring reviews over from old to new isn’t a simple click of a button. Now with this rant over, I’m off to kick some cr@p n00b a$$ in the Killzone 2 multiplayer while you watch this video, which couldn’t be more appropriate right now:

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Comments»

1. Rich - March 10, 2009

More amusement…

Real Gambler from N4G said this;

“36 review on the 360
7 review on the PS3

Maximum score given for any of the 7 PS3 titles was a 8, and that’s including titles like KZ2, Flower, LBP, WipeoutHD!!! Metacritic score for those titles were 9.1, 8.8, 9.5, 8.7…

Take those review for what they are worth… The guy probably doesn’t even own a PS3… ”

We actually gave MGS4 a 10, LBP a 10 and Wipeout a 9.

He had 9 people agree with him. He’s a cunt.

2. thefacepalmedgamer - March 10, 2009

You’re clearly on the fucking take from M$. Killzone 2 is a solid gold 11/10 cause like, they took the best bits of every other FPS and watered them down into a completely under par run of the mill shooter, innit??

3. Jason - March 10, 2009

matthew more like microsofthew

4. PS3Gamer - March 10, 2009

Math-FAIL…

5. Matthew - March 10, 2009

What has maths got to do with this?

6. Game Of The Year Awards 2009 « He Got Games - January 5, 2010

[…] Killzone 2 – Allegedly the Second Coming of Christ in terms of visuals, it turned out to be nothing more than an above average FPS with good graphics. Your squad mates being a group of clichéd, “bro soldiers”,  shouty cunts didn’t make the game any more enjoyable, and neither did the lethargic controls – it felt like wading through treacle half the time. the online multiplayer was great, though. Review, complete with pathetic fanboys in the comments sections is HERE, with a follow-up article by me HERE. […]


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