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Random Gaming Irritations #759 March 31, 2009

Posted by Matthew in Fallout 3, Feature, Gaming Irritations, Rant.

Releasing an unfinished, untested, broken and unplayable product for sale aka Fallout 3’s The Pitt DLC:

The initial release was full of floating exclaimation marks, unfinished textures, graphical glitches and became unplayable after a certain point due to the game crashing. How did it get released in such a state? Thankfully Blethesda sorted it after a day or so.


Hundred Word Review – Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad March 31, 2009

Posted by Matthew in Review, Xbox 360.
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Fucking terrible. The worst game I’ve purchased this generation, and possibly ever. A simple hack-and-slash game where you play as a skimpy bikini-clad samurai woman, her little sister sporting a skimpy school uniform and some police woman with, you’ve guessed it, a skimpy costume. It’s pretty hard for a game containing zombies to be shit, Dead Rising somehow managed it (bleow!) and so does this. It’s a bloody shambles, zombies pose almost no threat at all and the only enemies that do – the bosses – are terrible. It also controls like absolute shit. It’s absolute shit. Buy it and hate it.


Tom Clancy’s H.A.W.X. Review At Peoww March 30, 2009

Posted by Matthew in Peoww, Review, Xbox 360.
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Top Gun

My review of Tom Clancy’s H.A.W.X. is now up at Peoww. A thoroughly enjoyable aerial comat game which takes place in the Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter universe, complete with standard Tom Clancy plot. The online co-op in particular is a lot of fun.

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly March 29, 2009

Posted by Matthew in Feature, Good Bad & Ugly.

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

A new weekly feature where I pick three pieces of news from the past week. You can probably guess the rest. GDC happened this week so it’s all about that:

The Good – Iwata’s GDC Keynote

An interesting keynote by Satoru Iwata, but that wasn’t the best part. After two-and-a-half years, Nintendo finally address a problem that shouldn’t have existed in the first place – the storage space of the Wii. The newest system update now allows Virtual Console and WiiWare games to be played from an SD card using some swanky memory cache technique, or something like that. the Wii can now accept SD cards up to 32GB, a far cry from the paltry 512MB internal flash memory provided. No more cleaning out that fridge.

The Bad – Not Knowing Your Audience


Host of Gametrailers TV Geoff Keighley’s day-long cocktease on his Twitter of a “big surprise” to be revealed at GDC which turned out to be… a Modern Warfare 2 teaser trailer. Cue a shitstorm over at NeoGAF. The game was officially announced last year, as if you actually needed to officially announce the inevitable. The trailer was more pretentious than your average teaser but after closer analysis it shows a few hints on what the final game will hold, hopefully a complete overhaul in gameplay from the previous one since infinitely respawning enemies with zero AI have no place in 2009.

The Ugly – OnLive


Almost universal acceptance from the gaming media that this is officially the gaming equivalent of the second coming of Christ. I remain skeptical though. Basically, OnLive is video-on-demand but with computer games instead of Tv programmes/movies. The game is run on a remote server and streamed via the Internet to your computer, or TV if you use the set-top box. This means that those with low end PCs will be able to play games like Crysis at settings far beyond what their PC’s capabilities. The image quality depends on the speed of the connection, the faster the speed the higher the definition. While initially this does seem like a great idea, there are so many reasons why I’m skeptical. First of all, if this service makes it over here to the UK, the online infrastructure is so far behind that of the US and this will result in the quality of gameplay varying greatly. Then you have to factor in things like input lag, problems with latency etc. Also, when a AAA game is released on this service and thousands of people wanting to play it at the same time, will the servers be powerful enough to cope?

Noby Noby Boy March 28, 2009

Posted by Matthew in PS3.
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Noby Noby Boy

Just look at his wee face ❤ An utterly bonkers “game” in which you don’t really do anything other than eat and stretch. If you are bored and stuck for something to play then this is a great game to relax and chill out with. You can upload the total length you’ve stretched to Noby Noby Girl and she grows, reaching other planets. She recently reached the Moon, which opened up new environments and inhabitants. Where next? Probably Mars. It’s only £3.59 for the PSN store so there really is no excuse not to pick it up at that price. Offline multiplayer is being added soon and hopefully online will be added at some point in the future. It also lets you record videos and upload them to Youtube and here is the first one I made, which incidentally is the first video I’ve ever uploaded:

Peggle XBLA Review At Peoww March 22, 2009

Posted by Matthew in Peoww, Review, XBLA, Xbox 360.
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This weeks Peoww update includes my Peggle XBLA review. While the PC version is better (due to the superior mouse controls) this version is still brilliant and addictive as ever. As well as a review of Resident Evil 5 (I’ll be doing my own for here soon) and an interview with the CEO of Reality Pump – developers of the RPG Two Worlds.

Around the www. March 22, 2009

Posted by Matthew in Around the www, Feature.

Around the World

Amazingly, I have another Sunday off work which will no doubt be spent relaxing, hoping Aston Villa beat Liverpool and playing some games – most probably Rock Band 2 or Burnout Paradise. GamerToss podcast in the evening as well, if Jase isn’t treasure hunting or some shit.

That’s all for now, I’m writing this in the past (Saturday night) and hopefully by the wonders of the internet this will be automatically published on Sunday morning at 9am. Fingers crossed!!!111 and all that.

EDIT: It worked!

Hundred Word Review – F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin March 18, 2009

Posted by Matthew in Review, Xbox 360.
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That's Alma, the main protagonist, but it actually looks like Slipknot drummer Joey Jordison.

I really enjoyed the original F.E.A.R. It introduced a nice horror twist to the FPS genre and while many of those elements are present here, they unfortunately dwindle somewhat towards the latter parts of the game. The shooting mechanics are just as solid, if not better than, the first game and the level design is thankfully a whole lot more varied. The single player campaign is the most enjoyable I’ve played in an FPS (including Killzone 2)  in some time. The multiplayer, while passable, isn’t anything to get excited over. Definitely worth playing if you are a fan of the original.


The Problem With Fanboys… March 9, 2009

Posted by Matthew in Feature, Peoww, Rant.

…is that they are fucking idiots, to put it bluntly. My Killzone 2 review went up on Peoww yesterday and was posted on N4G and resulted in the comments section becoming full of upset fanboys who simply couldn’t comprehend the fact that I scored it a 7/10 – which anyone with half a brain knows is a good score. I was always aware at how defensive, dismissive and touchy fanboys can be Sony fanboys losing to Manchester United in the 2008 Champion's League final on May 21stwhen something they hold dear is criticised in any shape or form but here, as Rich from Peoww put it: “You’d have thought we’d shat on their mums”. I scored the game a seven because that what I felt it deserved and it was a reflection of the enjoyment I got out of the game. It was above average, but not a great game. It would half received an eight hat the single player campaign not basically been such a copy-and-paste from so many other games. Click below to swim through the bitter tears aka fanboy comments


Killzone 2 Review March 8, 2009

Posted by Matthew in Peoww, PS3, Review.
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My review of Killzone 2 is up on Peoww, which seems to have upset a fair few fanboys ofer at N4G with amusing results. Other reviews include X-Blades and Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad.