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IGN US Horrifies Me December 8, 2008

Posted by Matthew in Rant.
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Lex Luthor
Amazingly, IGN US have shat out a review that actually manages to be worse than their terrible, hyperbole-filled love-fest GTAIV review – previously the worst review ever. The review in question is for World Soccer Manager 2009 Football Manager 2009 in which it received a “2.0 Terrible” rating. Here are a few quotes:

“The game’s incredibly complex menu system is very difficult to navigate, even with the on-screen help box directing you through the process. In short, this game is extremely difficult to simply pick up and play. If you’re unfamiliar with the franchise expect to spend a significant amount of time simply trying to figure out how to navigate the menus.”

Jesus fucking wept. Anyone who has ever used a computer should have minimal trouble finding their way around the menus.

“Although the game’s database of more than 350,000 real-life soccer players is certainly impressive, only the most diehard fans of the sport would be able to appreciate having such a massive pool of talent to sift through, and the casual fan would almost certainly find the task overwhelming – I did.”

Diddums.

“Then there’s the sound, or lack thereof. There is no soundtrack that plays while you work in the game’s menus”

Perhaps DJ Cowabunga shouting over some shit EA Traxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx is more your thing? Oh and you’re playing this on a PC, open up Windows Media Player if you want some fucking music.

The reviewer then goes on to close it with this gem:

“I couldn’t imagine why anybody would prefer Worldwide Soccer Manager to FIFA 09 or Pro Evolution Soccer 2009.”

I could imagine why anybody would prefer it over FIFA and Pro Evo. They want to play a football management sim. Simple, really, although it seems to be some sort of alien concept to the reviewer.

Alternatively, IGN UK gave it a “9.1 Incredible”. Given that I have played Championship Manager/Football Manager games in the past*, I know which review makes more sense. If only some poor, uninformed soul from IGN UK had reviewed NFL Rugby For Pussies in Safety Equipment Filled With Jock Cunts Coach 2009 in the same way. The resulting shit storm would be amusing.

*Football Manager 2008 caused me to destroy a perfectly good mouse in a fit of rage during one of those matches when it is literally impossible for your team to score, meaning that the computer is blatantly going to score the winner in the last minute of injury time.

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Comments»

1. Pedantic - December 8, 2008

lolz different strokes for different folks eh 😛

2. Matthew - December 8, 2008

Jase in the house!

3. Adam - December 8, 2008

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