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Belated Merry Christmas December 29, 2008

Posted by Matthew in Stuff.
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Good Christmas? I didn’t get any games as presents, mostly due to the fact I had bought them all beforehand at launch, rather than waiting one week for them to be reduced in price by twenty fucking pounds or something. However, I did buy a few:

Guitar Hero: World Tour (360) – not bad but Rock Band 2 is leagues ahead of it. The only things WT does better are detecting hits on the drum pad better and a countdown when you un-pause the game. Oh, and Hey Man Nice Shot by Filter is on the track list, which is a fucking awesome song.

Mario Kart Wii – works brilliantly with the steering wheel peripheral. Online play is implemented very well, leagues ahead of Smash Bros. Brawl.

Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2 – The first game broke my phone. The sequel is addictive as crack and simply brilliant. Variety of modes will keep me interested for a long time, unlike most Live Arcade games.

Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix – longest name ever. I played SSF II Turbo all the time back on my sisters SNES (with a little help form an auto fire-enabled pad) and loved it. Takes a bit of getting used to, mostly due to the appalling 360 d-pad which I might modify if I can be arsed


Little Red Riding Hood’s Zombie BBQ December 19, 2008

Posted by Matthew in DS, Vids.
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Currently playing this for the DS. Literally don’t have a clue what the fuck is going on but its unique subject matter for a vertical-scrolling shooter caugh my eye. A pretty solid game and I recommend giving it a try.

Gamers with Jobs Podcast December 19, 2008

Posted by Matthew in Podcast.
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New GWJ Conference Call podcast has ex-GFWers Jeff Green and Shawn Elliot. A must listen.

4K Left 4 Dead December 19, 2008

Posted by Matthew in Flash Games.
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Rather fun, it was created for some competition where all games must be 4K or under. Play it HERE

That Metal Gear Solid Teaser Thingy December 8, 2008

Posted by Matthew in News.

i” plus exclaimation mark equals universal power-switch symbol thing.

i” plus exclaimation mark equals universal power-switch symbol thing.

i” plus exclaimation mark equals universal power-switch symbol thing. Quite simple really:


UPDATE: Turns out its a bloody iPhone game. Move along.

IGN US Horrifies Me December 8, 2008

Posted by Matthew in Rant.

Lex Luthor
Amazingly, IGN US have shat out a review that actually manages to be worse than their terrible, hyperbole-filled love-fest GTAIV review – previously the worst review ever. The review in question is for World Soccer Manager 2009 Football Manager 2009 in which it received a “2.0 Terrible” rating. Here are a few quotes:

“The game’s incredibly complex menu system is very difficult to navigate, even with the on-screen help box directing you through the process. In short, this game is extremely difficult to simply pick up and play. If you’re unfamiliar with the franchise expect to spend a significant amount of time simply trying to figure out how to navigate the menus.”

Jesus fucking wept. Anyone who has ever used a computer should have minimal trouble finding their way around the menus.

“Although the game’s database of more than 350,000 real-life soccer players is certainly impressive, only the most diehard fans of the sport would be able to appreciate having such a massive pool of talent to sift through, and the casual fan would almost certainly find the task overwhelming – I did.”


“Then there’s the sound, or lack thereof. There is no soundtrack that plays while you work in the game’s menus”

Perhaps DJ Cowabunga shouting over some shit EA Traxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx is more your thing? Oh and you’re playing this on a PC, open up Windows Media Player if you want some fucking music.

The reviewer then goes on to close it with this gem:

“I couldn’t imagine why anybody would prefer Worldwide Soccer Manager to FIFA 09 or Pro Evolution Soccer 2009.”

I could imagine why anybody would prefer it over FIFA and Pro Evo. They want to play a football management sim. Simple, really, although it seems to be some sort of alien concept to the reviewer.

Alternatively, IGN UK gave it a “9.1 Incredible”. Given that I have played Championship Manager/Football Manager games in the past*, I know which review makes more sense. If only some poor, uninformed soul from IGN UK had reviewed NFL Rugby For Pussies in Safety Equipment Filled With Jock Cunts Coach 2009 in the same way. The resulting shit storm would be amusing.

*Football Manager 2008 caused me to destroy a perfectly good mouse in a fit of rage during one of those matches when it is literally impossible for your team to score, meaning that the computer is blatantly going to score the winner in the last minute of injury time.

GamerToss Podcast December 7, 2008

Posted by Matthew in GamerToss, News, Podcast.
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Yes it is still going. All episodes can be found here, along with a link to iTunes.

Peoww Stuff December 4, 2008

Posted by Matthew in Feature.
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Apart from here, I do a lot of writing for the awesome site that is Peoww. Here are links to some of my stuff.

Full reviews:

Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros’ Treasure
Metal Gear Solid 4
Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Too Human
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Disaster: Day of Crisis
Gears of War 2
Left 4 Dead

Second opinions:

No More Heroes
Iron Man
Battlefield: Bad Company
Siren: Blood Curse
Duke Nukem 3D
Wipeout HD
Dead Space
Mirror’s Edge

Also a little bit on Chibi-Robo for a Gamecube hidden gems feature and a summary of the second worst E3 conference of all time.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves Teaser Trailer December 3, 2008

Posted by Matthew in News, PS3, Vids.
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The inevitable sequel to Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, the second best PS3 game (after all there is not much choice) has been announced.

Here’s hoping that the frankly awful gunplay from the first game is fixed. The amount of bullets needed to down an enemy seemed to be mostly random and massively annoying.

Back! December 2, 2008

Posted by Matthew in News.
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I’ve not updated in over a MONTH and a HALF. WoW partly to blame? Possibly, but expect more regular stuff from now on. Also noticed my favicon disappeared 😦 but thats all fixed now.